Typically the word addiction has been used to describe problems with alcohol or drug, however now it used to describe other compulsive behaviors such as gambling, overeating and sex when these behaviors become problematic. The term sexual addiction first appeared in the late 1980’s with the publication of Out of the Shadows, a landmark text, written by Dr. Patrick Carnes, a leader and pioneer in the recovery field. Compulsive sexual behaviors have serious consequences including depression, shame, despair, anxiety, intense loneliness, legal problems and loss of family, income, self-respect and self-esteem. Most individuals with addictive sexual behaviors need professional help. Efforts at self care are usually not successful because by definition sexual addiction tends to be beyond the individual’s control. Without intervention, the cravings intensify and the compulsive behaviors progress with increasingly more time and money spent in pursuit of the addiction.
Sexually addictive behaviors can include compulsive or frequent use of:
Internet Pornography
Other forms of pornography such as videos or magazines
Compulsive masturbation
Serial affairs
One night stands or anonymous encounters
Prostitutes, massage parlors
Adult book stores
How Do I Know if I am Sexually Addicted?
Sexually addictive behavior is not based on a single incident or experience. Like all addictive behavior, sex addiction evolves, matures and progresses over time.
Questions to ask yourself should include:
do I feel ashamed about my behavior?
is it secretive?
have I tried and failed to stop these behaviors?
do I find myself preoccupied or thinking about doing these behaviors more and more?
have I ever engaged in behaviors that might be illegal?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might need professional help. Intervention begins with an accurate assessment conducted professionally, with respect for confidentiality.
What is Sexual Anorexia?
Some individuals experience symptoms of sexual aversion-desire disorder, or as it is sometimes called, sexual anorexia. Similar to eating disorders, sex addicts can flip from being “out of control” into a super “in control” period, or there can be a binge/purge pattern.
What is Sexual Co-Addiction?
Sexually addicted behaviors become problematic for partners and other family members, seriously impacting marriages, committed relationships and many other aspects of family life. Partners of sex addicts frequently feel inadequate and struggle with deep shame and self-loathing as a result of their partner’s addiction and need their own recovery plan in order to begin healing from the destructive patterns of this disorder. Family involvement in recovery is strongly encouraged.
